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You were trained to link (bind) shame to these natural feelings. Re-read the chapter on toxic shame, and get the book by John Bradshaw that I recommend.
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***QUESTION***
Question
Hey there, Dave Man,
I have Gone all the way through your CD pack and Have read your E-book numerous times. I was convinced that I needed the cds after the book. Anyways here's my question. I have been working on everything that you say to practice on I make notes all the time I have read many of the books that you recommend as well. Everything has been working wonders for me the last few months. I actually get dates now LOL. Anyways I want to become a lot more proficient in the humor aspect. I have gotten better since listening and readin your series, as well as reading Comedy writing secrets, but I want to have more avenues. If you could tell me of more books, or more anything that you could recommend for me as well as others I would appreciate it. To make sure it stays funny and cocky, but not arrogant.
Thanks, D.J Washington
» MY COMMENTS:
Nice!
I love a guy who wants to be the best.
That didn't sound right.
I mean, I really get a special feeling in my happy place when I get an email from a guy like you.
That's not it, either.
OK, what I REALLY mean is… NICE!
The answer for you is not MORE INFORMATION.
The answer for you is sitting down with a notebook and a couple of hours to yourself, and:
1) Making a list of the top 5 situations where you'd like to have some KILLER Cocky & Funny material at-the- ready.
2) Writing out 10 GREAT lines for each situation.
3) Choosing only the very best of the best... and mentally rehearsing them until they're TIGHT.
EXAMPLE:
In line at the coffee shop, talking to the cashier.
She says "What can I get for you?"
I answer:
1) "The usual" with a straight face.
2) "Whatever YOU'RE having" with a sly smile.
3) "What, you don't have it ready for me already?" with a fake upset look on my face.
4) etc., etc., etc...
Let's say you chose "The usual" as your favorite.
Now what?
Now imagine what would happen.
She's going to say "Oh, I'm sorry, I don't remember what you usually order..."
So you respond with:
1) "Oh, no. This relationship ISN'T working out for me."
2) "Stop teasing me."
3) "Don't be sorry, just get it for me."
4) etc., etc., etc....
Let's say you choose "Oh, no. This relationship ISN'T working out for me."
I think you see where I'm going with this.
Finally, close your eyes, and IMAGINE every single step in your mind. Imagine how it's going to go. Imagine the EXACT timing of everything, how you're going to respond, how you're NOT going to laugh when she smiles, etc.
MENTALLY REHEARSE the whole thing... over and over.
You don't need MORE. You need BETTER, and SHARPER.